Pathetic

6th November 2014
I am currently on a cruise ship in Livorno, Italy, wrapped up in bed at 11am. It isn’t that unusual to be in bed on a cruise ship at 11am, but as today is my show day, it is somewhat irregular. My head is aching, my brain is full of snot, and I’ve got the body tingles. That’s right, I’m dying. Ok perhaps a tiny exaggeration, one might say I have a very mild cold.
 
The body tingles is a weird one, because it feels like quite a funny (yes, funny ha ha!), symptom. It’s skin ache! Walking along the ship last night a slightly tapped the back of my hand on the side of the corridor, and it really hurt! Putting on my deodorant hurts my arms pits. Even the feeling of the soft fabric of my t-shirt makes my lower back feel tender! Yea ok, you know what I’m talking about. But it really isn’t so bad, I do genuinely find it funny!
 
The head ache I have very little time for. Turning my head 3 degrees makes it pound like some body is talking at me in rave music mixed with Lithuanian politics.
 
Now, I’m laying in bed wrapped up like a kebab, and I’m thinking about my snot brain. I like to think that the constant never ending sluice of snot is caused by bad thoughts and ideas. Maybe the bad thoughts and ideas ARE the snot, and its the brains way of saying “Thats no, good, we need to get rid of it!” or “S’not good, s’not clever, get it outta here!” (I just groaned at myself too). So next time you are suffering from a bunged up bonce, consider it a good thing, because you are just making room for new thoughts and ideas. Well, at least that’s how the scientists would put it (probably).
 
Well it is my show tonight, and even though I am full to the brim with Berocca and Lemsip (potential sponsors), I know that during the show I will feel fine. I always do! I have always found that side of show business (“because believe it or not, that’s what this is” says Sam Veale) very peculiar. It’s bizarre how you can be feeling crappy moments before you get on stage, and then instantly everything is fine, until that precise moment when you get off stage and all those illness come flying back into your body. It’s probably magic.
 
Anyways, a few days ago I was chatting to Ade Berry from Jacksons Lane Theatre about blogging. I was saying that I didn’t really blog much because I felt like I didn’t live a life interesting enough for people to read it. But lets face it, if you got to this point of the blog and are reading this right now, after managing to get through the paragraph about snot, then I was clearly wrong! Richard Herring blogs everyday, and he says that he does it in order to keep his writing muscle nice and pumped. I always liked the idea of blogging, not because I feel I have much to say, but because I do thoroughly enjoy writing, and in my profession, I don’t get that many opportunities to. If people enjoying reading it too, then great! But if not, no problems, it’s not for you.
 
Now, I’m off to drag my pathetic carcass out of bed and rehydrate myself with blackcurrant Lemsip. Please don’t worry about me, I’ll be fine.

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