Updates
Train times
Currently I am currently sat on a train being propelled at unthinkable speeds from Bristol to London. I say unthinkable, because whenever I think about how fast it’s going, it makes me feel a bit uneasy. Sure it’s relaxing when you are inside, but then I think about how fast my legs would have to be moving if I jumped off and tried to run to stop myself from falling over. Probably couldn’t do it.
I have the blurry verdant British countryside on my left, with intervals of the occasional house, telegraph pole and alarming train coming from the other direction that jolts me back into reality and drives home just how fast we are going. My wife is sat opposite, unaware of these thoughts, peacefully and beautifully reading her book. I love watching her without her knowing. It’s not creepy cos she’s my wife, so it’s allowed. The peace of this trip has been obliterated by a bunch of “lads” who are modelling products from Sports Direct. They seem to be a group of dad’s or husbands that have been “granted permission” to go to London for a weekend of “freedom”. Lairy Dads. Maybe that’s the etymology of the word “lad”. It’s 9:28am and they are chugging cans of Thatcher’s Cider and completely unaware of the train’s peaceful vibe that they have stormed into. Best of luck to them.
Ramblings aside, I have some exciting news. I am now the very proud sponsor of Jugglequip. They have sent me a few sets of their absolutely lush Infinity Juggling balls. So far I love them. They are a little lighter than my previous ones, and they have a nice grip to them. They are going to be very useful for my next project that will start on the 1st September. More about that soon!
Oh and just cos I know you love it (do you? I mean really, do you? Sometimes I’m not sure.), here is one second of every one of my days in July. It was an interesting month.
That’s surely enough updates for now isn’t it? Must be. Right, I’m gonna put my noise cancelling headphones to use and continue enjoying the view and sipping on my oat flat white. Have a lovely weekend folks.
Dubai
It’s 5:56am and I’ve been awake since the uncivilised time of 4:00am. I’ve got my butt plonked firmly down in an airport lounge (la de dah!) in Dubai airport. Coffee to my left. Bashing out another one of these updates.
I’ve just finished 2 weeks out here where I performed 20 x 30 minute shows over the course of 10 days (5 days on, 2 days off, 5 days on). Initially, I was a little anxious about this because I thought it would be a strain on my psoas injury . I therefore had to adapt my show, to make sure the half-hours didn’t contain any jumping, spinning or fun moves (as I like to call them).
My shows took place in Mercato Shopping Mall, which as far as shopping malls go, is a pretty nice one. As soon as I arrived for my technical rehearsal, I noticed that on stage-right, there was a slide connecting the floors and terminating in a ball pit. My first thought as a 35 year-old man: “Start the show by going down the slide”. I asked permission and to my astonishment, my wish was granted! Show number one, I slide with glee into quite a tough first show. I was still finding my feet and figuring out how best to play the crowd at this point. After the first show I was told I can’t use the slide anymore because I was wearing shoes, and that if I wanted to use it, I had to remove my shoes, slide into the show, then faff about trying to pop my clogs on whilst trying to clumsily keep the enthusiasm well and truly whipped into shape. It just wasn’t worth it.
If I am being completely honest, and with you I am nothing but, initially I found the shows difficult. My talking material (which is most of my material), wasn’t really going down very well. Perhaps, I’d like to think, because of a language or cultural barrier. Also there were lots of children, and if you’ve read my book, chapter V is for Van will tell you that I am not great at performing for kids. I adapted my show each day, and I’d say by around show 5, I had it figured out and started to really enjoy it.
As for my injury, I am still injured, and still can’t pirouette or run, however there have been major improvements over the past 2 weeks. I can now squat and jump, which are two of my favourite things. It’s all progress.
Right now, I’m feeling a bit tired and brain dead, so I’m going to wrap this up and grab another coffee. In the mean time, if you’d like to see any of my upcoming shows, I have had some new dates confirmed for 2024 and 2025 which you can check out here.
I have some fun new projects coming up, which I will of course let you know about very soon. In the mean-time, stay hydrated, eat well, get some sleep and don’t forget to stretch.
It sucks psoas
At the moment of writing I am sat in Mercato Mall, in Dubai, where I am about to start my contract doing 20 x 30 minute shows over the next two weeks. It’s going to be interesting as my body isn’t working at 100%. Let me keep you up to date. 19 days ago I injured my psoas muscle. Don’t worry, I didn’t know what it was either. So I’ve very helpfully included a helpful diagram below, in order to help and be helpful.
I vaguely said “injured” because you can’t officially diagnose whether it’s a tear or a strain without a scan. From the way that it hurt, I would say that it was ripped to smithereens by a lynx. I’ve seen a physio a couple of times, and she said it will take 6-8 weeks to heal. I’m now creeping up to the 3 week mark, and I have to say, it still hurts. It’s an odd type of pain, I am absolutely fine doing certain movements. Standing: fine. Jumping: fine (if i don’t go to high). Running: not fine. Spinning around: not fine. Rotating my left leg outwards even a little bit: not fine. But I am on the mend. It will just take time.
Juggling wise, this means I can’t do pirouettes, or any sudden movements, or move weirdly, which is essentially my entire show. So I have adapted my show temporarily so that I can give my self the best chance to heal. I suppose you want to know how I did it, right? Of course you do, because you have read this far and clearly care about me and my wellbeing, and I truly love you for that! Well I did it in the classic way: jumping for a helium balloon. We’ve all been there. See GIF below.
But I don’t want you guys worry about me any more. I will heal. It will just take time. So please, as lovely as it is, I beg you to STOP sending me “get better soon” gifts (I’ve received nothing).
I injured myself at Glastonbury Festival on the Friday, which annoyingly meant I didn’t perform on the Saturday or Sunday. I have done a couple of gigs since, and have had to really dial back my movements (not of the bowel) for the next 20 shows here in Dubai. Sure it doesn’t feel like “rest”, but I am being very careful and not doing a lot of things. Onwards and upwards!
On a more positive note, here is one second every day of my June…
I’ll keep you posted at the half way mark of my shows here. Bye bye for now you absolute stunners.
Dropping Values
Not long ago, I performed my 45 minute show to a fantastic crowd, and without tooting my own horn, it went very well. Afterwards the manager gingerly slunk up to me with a sympathetic look and said “Eeesh, quite a few drops eh?!”. This was not said with a tone of banter amongst lads. No no. This loosely translated as “Wow. You do this for a job, yet you dropped a lot. You must feel pretty bad and ashamed right now. Sucks to be you”.
What was interesting about this conversation was that, my show was 100% clean. No drops! So I couldn’t quite figure out how this manager came to this conclusion. He is a manager of shows in a venue. He sees shows every day. How could he be so off the mark?
The thing about my show is that there are moments when the props hit the floor, I’d admit that, but these are NOT drops. When this particular show is 100% clean, it contains 3 drops. So if you see my show and there are 4 drops, you know that only one of them was not on purpose. These drops act as integral part of the show and they each have their individual purpose. Each intentional drop, is followed by a joke or action that initiates a response that far surpasses the response that I’d get if the drop was absent. When you see the responses that follow from the audience, I struggle to believe that anyone could see these intentional drops as anything other than successes. The audience gets it. So manager, I say to you “Wow! You do this as a job? Yet you didn’t recognise the reaction from the crowd when the props intentionally hit the ground. Sucks to be YOU!”
It got me thinking about the different value of drops as a juggler. Obviously, these are going to vary due the individual opinions, but I’d like to share mine. If we rate the severity of drops from 1 to 10, 1 being a minor drop and 10 being a major drop, below are some examples that I’ve come up with.
Intentional drop (Drop Score: -1)
When you purposefully make a mistake, so that you can deliver a particular joke or action, and it improves to the show. I feel like if it is improving the show, it is only fair to give this a -1 on the dropping severity scale.
Fluke drop (Drop Score: -1)
Another example of a drop that can improve a show, is the fluke drop. Example of this:
you drop something, it bounces, and then you catch it and go back into the pattern as if nothing happened
When you drop and the prop does something extraordinarily rare, such as a club landing upright on it’s end.
A drop dropping and landing in an unusual place. For example, a bounce juggling ball, landing in someone’s top pocket.
No one would see any of these drops and consider them a negative to the show. Well, maybe one person I can think of!
Classic drop (Drop Score: 3)
When you drop, and you simply pick it up and do the trick successfully on your next attempt, WITHOUT letting the drop affect you in anyway, then I don’t personally think it’s that bad. I give it a 3, because sure, it’s not ideal, but it’s not the end of the world. Obviously, if this happened on every trick, then maybe we’d have to reassess the score!
Second drop (Drop Score: 5)
When you’ve just been hit with the Classic Drop as stated above, but now you have the extra pressure of having to successfully complete the trick on your second attempt. If you fail this, this is not an easy watch for anyone, therefore I’ve given this a scoring of 5. I could continue with this format of what happens if you drop on the third, fourth and fifth attempt, but I’m sure you get the idea. The more attempts, the higher the score.
Classic drop with unwanted chaos (Drop Score: 5)
You’ve just been responsible for the classic drop, and instead of pausing, taking a second, and simply picking it up and trying again, you go into panic mode. You go to reach for the prop, but in a flap of clumsy butterfingery, you’ve kicked it across the stage. Your mouth starts drying up, and you’ve got beads of sweat cascading down your back. You try and smile, but all the audience sees is a forced grimace. You finally get hold of the pesky prop, and fumble and drop the other props that you were holding. This unintentional slapstick, is not as fun to watch as it sounds. So I’ve given this drop a 5.
Diabolo string tangle (Drop Score: 6)
A good diabolo routine can have a beautiful circular flowing motion that can captivate an audience into a hypnotic trance. When the string gets tangles, and the flow grinds to a halt whilst the performer is desperately trying to undo this knot and set the diabolo free from it’s newly founded restraints, this is not a nice thing to see. Whenever I see this happen, I just want the performer to get some scissors out and get the job done.
Cigar box (Drop Score: 6)
I love cigar boxes, but when it goes wrong, oh boy, it’s not an easy drop to watch. Firstly, when done well, they create a illusion of magnetic magic. So when that fails, reality comes flooding back and disappointment sets in. Secondly, the noise! When 3 cigar boxes are dropped, the clang and clatter is so much worse than dropping a juggling ball. It’s so dramatic. Therefore it’s a 6 from me.
Contact Juggling (Drop Score: 8)
If you are unfamiliar to contact juggling, it’s the one people often do with what looks like a crystal ball. It’s the one that David Bowie was appearing to be doing in the film Labyrinth. When it’s done well, contact juggling produces a truly magical effect. But, similar to that of the cigar boxes, the noise from a contact juggling ball hitting the floor, snaps me so far back into reality, that I regret ever watching the routine in the first place.
Breakages/setting fire to things/damages (Drop Score: 9)
A prop flies across the room and smashes a table of drinks. A fire torch catches the stage curtain alight. A club smashes a stage light. These are unintentional, potentially very dangerous, and not always hilarious. Hard to watch, and often real showstoppers, but not in a good way.
Injuring someone (Drop Score: 10)
A club slips out of your hand and smashes someone in the face and breaks their nose. You slip up and kick a lady in the face. A juggling ball lands in someones hot soup, causing it to splash and scald someone. Not cool. I have genuinely done one of these! It’s not a good vibe, so I’m giving that a 10.
Obviously, we can take this further and talk about juggling drops causing huge car crashes and genocide, but I personally don’t think death-talk is the right subject for this light hearted blog post. I have no doubt people will read this too and disagree with my scoring system, and that’s total fine, because like you said, it’s my scoring system and I like it just how it is thank-you very much! I’m sure I have missed out a few more examples of drop severity, but let’s not forget, this is just a bit of fun!
I hope you all (even you Mr Manager) have enjoyed reading it. Have a good day and try not to drop.
Sleep is overrated
It’s currently 5:23am and I am sat in the lounge at London Heathrow Terminal 5. I caught a coach to get here at 00:55am today, and apart from the disjointed naps on the coach interrupted by a lolling head occasionally banging into the window, I haven’t slept since yesterday morning.
At the end of the day, I’m not complaining. I knew what I signed up for for this job, and as the old saying goes “the game is in the game”. But there’s no denying that I really am actually quite tired.
I’m on my way to Rome to join the Norwegian Epic cruise ship for 3 weeks. When I say Rome, I mean Civitavecchia. It’s like how ships say they are docking in London when in fact they are in Southampton. It’s possible to travel to the desired destination, if you wake up before the sun, and don’t allow time for food. Between you and me (lol!) three weeks is longer than I would like to do on ships to be honest. But I’ve got 2 more “three weekers” left this year, so I’m going to do what I can to make the most of them.
The good news is, I am pretty sure I am not performing my show until day 5 of the cruise, so it gives me a few days to gain back the essential pieces of sleep that I’ve lost.
Why am I telling you this? I think that it’s interesting, and surely, that’s enough, right? May I remind you that you don’t have to be reading this. Or this. Or even this. But you are. You need more hobbies! In all seriousness, I like seeing behind the scenes, and all too often the online presence is overly edited and polished red-raw so that all you see is the glamour in even the most mundane of events. I think it’s important to show that it’s not all glamour, and that’s totally ok.
Sat here with a mouth that tastes like coffee and mornings, clothes that smell of travel, and dry and droopy face, this is far from glamourous. But it could always be worse. I could be sat in Starbucks.
I’ll be hopefully doing more blog posts over the next few weeks onboard. Let me know if there’s anything you’d like to know or want me to write about.
Have a lovely day you absolute beauties. Treat yourself to a snack, and have that nap on the sofa. You deserve it!
An update from the sea
At the time of writing I am on a cruise ship (P&O Ventura) somewhere between Southampton, UK and Vigo, Spain. The sea, is super lumpy today, with waves coming up past my window on deck 8. Consistency: I’d say wet and salty, but I don’t know for certain as I’m keeping away from the stuff. If I had to take a guess without looking at a map, I’d say we’re being bobbed about just above France. But luckily, it’s not my job to guess, for I am onboard to juggle, and last night, that’s exactly what I did.
The audiences last night were so much fun and really up for a good time, which I wasn’t expecting to be honest as it was the first night of the cruise, and sometimes that can be a tricky audience to handle. The travelling and the settling in process can often make them a little lethargic in my opinion. But not last night. Oh no. They were buzzing. I’ve got my second show in a couple of nights time and to be honest with you, I’m already excited for it.
This is only a short blog post for now, but keep your eyes peeled as very soon I will be putting up some tasty updates of exciting things to come. For now though, here is a video of one second a day of my previous month.
Have a great day, whatever it is you are doing, may it be washing your hair (or someone else’s), eating a flan, or simply just walking through an orchard. Enjoy it and really sniff it in.
Bye for now!
Too late for “Happy New Year”?
Is the 30th January too late for me to say “Happy New Year” to you? Obviously, it’s too late (and too early) for me to being saying Merry Christmas, but “Happy New Year”? I don’t know. The thing is I don’t wish that you have a Merry Christmas in January. I just don’t. It would be mad if I did. But I DO wish that this new year that you find yourself in, is a happy one, and I genuinely hope that it remains that way.
I’ve recently come back from a contract on Cunard’s stunning Queen Mary II cruise line where we travelled from Tenerife to Walvis Bay, Namibia. It took 8 sea days to get there. You read that right. 8 days. No land. Just 8 days bobbing along adjacent to the land of which we won’t stop at, for 8 flippin’ days. It’s the longest I have done on a ship without stopping in ports, and I have to say, it wasn’t my favourite. But it can’t all be beaches, jungles, coffee shops and wineries on these gigs. Sometimes, it has to just be the ol’ salty wet stuff, your friend and mine, the sea. To be fair though, if I had to do that soggy schlep again, I couldn’t do much better than a Cunard ship for my vessel of choice. The food was exceptional, and somehow, the quality didn’t deteriorate as I expected, once we were hitting sea days 7 and 8. I don’t know how they did it, but they did it with finesse… and magic or something.
The cruise was made all that easier by the delightful company of the other acts onboard. I was joined by my good friend, the crooning silver fox, Glenn Macnamara, who I actually met on the Queen Mary II 10 years prior to this contract. Always good to see Glenn. One of those friends you can not see for a few years, and still carry on where you left off as if it’s been a week.
It was also a privilege to hang out with other guest entertainers such as the power-lunged opera duet, Bellissima, multi-instrumentalist jazz hound Kenny Martyn, and guest speaker, tv and radio presenter, the delightful Nicki Chapman along with her sidekick/buddy Krista. Without the company of these legends, the sea days would’ve oh-so-dragged.
Once we finally arrived into Walvis Bay, I had planned to stay there for a few days before flying home. It was a really interesting place, but my highlight has got to be my day of tours.
The day started with a catamaran trip where Cape Fur seals and a massive pelican (his name is Nelson) would get on board whilst we are sailing about. They were big fellas! We visited a seal colony that had anywhere between 10,000 and a trillion seals (I wasn’t countin’).
Then straight from the catamaran to a 4x4 where our lovely guide Max, drove us out into the desert along Sandwich Harbour and up into the dunes of the Namib Desert, the oldest desert in the world having been around for 55 million years. 55 million years, and still no coffee shop. Impressive! Max drove like he was in a hurry, and was fearless with it at that, which personally, I loved, although my underwear may disagree.
I’m now back home for a week where I am shaking off an annoying cold, but I’m plodding on (thanks for asking). Currently I am sat in Bristol Loaf sipping away at my second oat milk flat white in a row. BOOOOOORN TOOO BE WIIIIIIIIIILD!
In 5 days, I will be taking 3 weeks off to head to Costa Rica with Molly for our belated honeymoon. I can’t flippin’ wait. Maybe I’ll update you with what we got up to when I return, but also, maybe I won’t. I don’t want to put that kind of pressure on myself!
If you are reading this and you haven’t bought my book yet, then what are you doing? If you’ve gotten this far in the blog without closing this page, then you clearly like what I write. Imagine this sort of drivel, but with some actual thought put into it, and about something really cool. If you’d like a signed copy, then get in touch directly with me and I can sort it for you. Check it out here.
Right, that’s all from me now. I think I’ve covered everything. I hope you have a lovely few weeks. Eat nice things. Speak to animals. Dance around in your underwear. Tell people you love them. Compliment your friends. Really enjoy that glass of wine. Have an extra biscuit with your tea. Bye for now.
Blogging from the clouds
There’s no easy way to say this, but I’m flying. I knew this day would come, but I’m surprised it took until November 2023. You may want to be sat down for this. I am in a plane, in the sky mind you, flying along, classic plane style, and I have free WIFI. I have never had this in all of my days, and I have to say it’s pretty good! I am 30,000 feet somewhere above Puerto Rico (look up and see if you can see me!), on my way from Grenada to New York on my first of two flights today. Sure I was going to fob off this blog like I do most days, but as I was gifted the joy of airborne connectivity, I felt like I was obliged to make the use of it. So here I am:
Hmmm, now that I am looking at the photo, it doesn’t look like we are above Puerto Rico at all. That’s just what the pilot said. You’ll have to take their word for it.
This morning I disembarked P&O Britannia after being on it for 6 days. During the 6 days I worked one night, and the audiences were on fire. Cracking crowds as always on P&O, but this one was exceptional.
The remaining time I had away, I didn’t exactly spend it twiddling my thumbs. I crammed in all sorts of the classic Caribbean stuff. Day one in Bonaire, I made sure to get a sunburnt back so that everyone knew I was definitely a tourist. I couldn’t help it! I was by myself, and it’s tricky to cream the back when solo. And I couldn’t exactly ask a stranger. So I went bareback, and there were a lot of fish that needed to be snorkelled upon. This all took place on Te Amo Beach. A great spot, with no facilities except for a double deck bus that sold amazing food.
The next stop was Saint Lucia, where I started the day with a morning run. I’ve been getting into running a little bit more, and I’m thinking of doing some kind of running challenge in 2024. Mulling it over as I type. After stomping the tarmac, I ventured out for the day. I went to Reduit Beach where I chowed down on plantain chips, and veggie kebabs, and topped up my back burn with some extra snorkelling. I also sank a couple of rum punches which were so strong, that in the UK, they’d be illegal. All in all though, a good day.
That’s a reasonably tidy summary of the last week. I’ll arrive into London tomorrow morning, and I’ll have a few days there doing exciting things and hanging out with my wife and in-laws. After this, I will be back in Bristol until Christmas! Quite the stint. Which is why I will be available for online classes (or offline if you are in Bristol). Happy to help you with putting together and act, putting together a show, or improving skills in juggling balls, rings, clubs, bounce juggling, cigar boxes or diabolo. Also happy to teach you the wonderful art form of juggling from scratch. It’s £45 per hour or £25 for half an hour.
Feel free to get in touch if you want to book or if you have any questions.
Right, that’s all from me for now. I’m going to nap. Long day ahead. Bye for now.
Bits and bobs
At the time of writing I am in the Goldair Handling VIP Lounge at Athens airport, and I’ve just wolfed down a potato sandwich (better than it sounds) and some beetroot hummus.
I tell you something for nothing, these guys know how to hummus. I’ve often tried to master the art of hummusing, but am always left with a stodgy sludge. Like chickpea Polyfilla. Maybe I’ll have another crack at it. Should probably add more water, like with Polyfilla. Anyways, I’m getting sidetracked. I’ve just disembarked the Norwegian Jade after being onboard for a week. It was a lovely contracted to be honest. 7 days of ricocheting between the Greek islands, a couple of days work in a stunning theatre to great crowds, and I got to hang out with the delightful magic duo Javi Cruz and Anahi.
Overall, it was a cracking week’s worth of work. On my way home now for 12 days! Almost a fortnight in the bag. I honestly can’t wait. No matter how nice anywhere is, in my opinion, it is always nicer to go home. Maybe this is the week for my hummus mastery. Enough about hummus now Jon, c’mon man. Control yourself.
Topic change. Tickets for Jon Udry’s Variety Bungalow Xmas Special are now available. It is going to be a great one.
I haven’t posted about this yet on social media, but I am now taking orders for Xmas for signed copies of my book. If you would like a signed copy, with perhaps a personalised message, then please do get in touch soon
This weekend I am performing in Gloucestershire in a cabaret called Kebabaret. As far as I am aware, it’s a kebab themed cabaret. Sounds right up my street! There are only 6 tickets left as I am writing this, so if you want one, get on it.
I am in the very VERY early stages of planning a secret project for 2025. When I have enough info locked down, I’ll be sure to let your sweet brain know about.
Bye for now stunners!
Back to it
I’ve only gone and dropped the blogging ball (thought I was supposed to be a juggler) for a few weeks. It’s been proper well busy like (I’m trying this new writing style where I write how a teenage chav speaks). I is being gigging a right ton fam, and it’s … ok, even I’m getting on my nerves now. I’ll revert to my old ways of waffling along. Fair play to you if you’ve gotten his far, I would’ve closed the window and thrown my laptop in the bin by this point. At the time of writing, I am in the sea on P&O Arvia somewhere between Cadiz and Southampton, on my way home.
I’ve done a couple of nights of shows on here, and I’ve really had an absolute blast. The audiences on here are always some of my all time favourites and are always up for a laugh. On here I work two nights, and on each I do my show 3 times. I have to say, it is exhausting. But boy is it fun. Hand on heart, it is always the highlight of every cruise ship contract for me. This time I had some new backdrops for the shows too that were designed by my mate Ben at Keskorra. I used Keskorra for my poster designs and also my book. I highly recommend them for if you need anything designed.
I’m pleased to say that I have had a lot of bookings come in for 2024, so I have updated my gigs page here. I still have a few gaps so please do get in touch for 2024 if you’d like to book me. If not, please feel free to book ahead for 2025.
I recently finished a 6 week summer season at Cromer Pier in Norfolk. I am going to do a completely separate post about that soon as there is a lot to say, but in the mean time I’d like to share a video with you. Over the 6 weeks, I performed 52 shows. For each show I had about a 30 minute window of time in my dressing room. I decided to use this time wisely and film a trick during each show. Here are 52 tricks, in 52 shows:
Dig out that itchy Xmas jumper, dangly reindeer earrings and that annoying festive tie that flashes lights and plays a tune when you squeeze it. It’s time to head on down to Jon Udry’s Variety Bungalow Xmas Special for an evening of cabaret, circus, burlesque and comedy, sprinkled with more Xmas spirit than you can shake your baubles at.
There will be a prize for the most festive outfit!
That’s all for now. Cheery bye!
A tough trip
I have just finished my first chartered cruise, and it was quite, well, the experience. I thought I’d do a little daily diary so you can see just how last week went for me.
13th July 2023 - Malta to Bristol
10:10 Today I am disembarking P&O Azura (not the chartered cruise), to head home. I will arrive into Bristol at around 2:30am tonight (14th July), and then when I wake up, I have just one day at home that I’m going to spend repacking some things but mostly hanging out with my lovely wife. I’m looking forward to it!
13:30 I have just received a message from the cruise director on the chartered cruise. He said that the cruise is being chartered for one month by the a Royal Family. I’m not going to say which one, but let’s just say they are unfathomably rich. I have just looked up the cruise today and it is incredibly posh. One I have never heard of before. So the Royal family have hired this cruise for one month, just for them and their 50 family members. Wow! The cruise director has informed me that there are 15 children on board and that I have to do a kids show. WHAT?! I haven’t done a kids show in about 20 years. It’s just not what I do. So I need to try and brainstorm some stuff and figure this out. Or I adapt my show to make it more suitable for a child audience. There are always a few audience participation bits I can do that I used to do in my street shows 20 years ago.
14th July - Bristol
9:30 Just about to pack for the ship. I’ve basically just taken my dirty clothes out and put clean ones in. Everything else can stay there from Azura.
10:30 Panicking. Just been told from the cruise director that the Prince has just said that if I use a child in the show for a trick, I then have to use all of the children in the show. Apparently, there was another act onboard a few days ago, who only used a couple of the kids in his show as volunteers, and it made the other kids jealous. So now I have to use all or none. I don’t know how to do this. I’ve just sent a message to my mates Sam Veale, Arthur Hyam and Marky Jay, who are the three best children entertainers that I know. I’m awaiting their replies. Also my first show is scheduled for the evening of the 16th July.
15th July - Bristol to Amsterdam to Croatia to Athens
6:00 Alarm goes off.
6:45 Molly drives me to Bristol Airport for my 7:15 flight to Amsterdam. Isn’t she lovely! I only have a 50 minute transfer between flights, so I’ll have to run.
8:15 My flight leaves one hour late. Unless the pilot really steps on it, I’ve missed my next flight.
12:30 Land in Amsterdam 20 minutes after my flight leaves. Organising new flights. The ship leaves Athens tonight at 01:00. And the only way I can get to the ship this evening is if I take a flight from Amsterdam to Zagreb (Croatia. I’d never heard of it either), and then another flight from Zagreb to Athens. Getting me into Athens at 21:55.
23:15 Flight lands into Athens late. It’s a 50 minute drive to the cruise terminal, so I just have enough time.
23:30 Realisation that my luggage didn’t arrive. I’ve check my Apple AirTags and my luggage is still in Croatia. The queue for the lost luggage counter is huge. If I declare my lost luggage at the counter, I will miss the ship. I speak to the chief purser on the ship, and she suggest I head to the ship and we’ll sort luggage later.
00:30 I arrive to the ship, 30 minutes before it departs.
16th July - Zakynthos, Greece
8:30 I put a post on the Facebook page Juggling For a Living. I tell the group of reliable and creative professional jugglers my situation. I received many many many helpful comments and pieces of advice about how to put a show on with no props. Use the ships sports equipment. There is none. Balance things on my chin. I can touch the ceiling if I am on tippy toes. At this stage I couldn’t tell them who I was performing for either. There were some great pieces of advice though, and the juggling community are nothing but generous and helpful!
9:30 Meeting with the cruise director. We have postponed my show tonight until tomorrow. Depending on whether I receive my luggage or not. At the moment, my luggage is in Zagreb, Croatia. We are in Zakynthos today until about midnight, and then we are at sea for most of tomorrow until Syracuse, Sicily. The cruise director seems to think we can easily get the luggage sent to Syracuse, and then we can pick it up tomorrow evening, and then maybe I can do a show that night.
15:00 Head onto land to get some essentials. Shorts, t-shirt, toothpaste, deodorant, and crisps.
17th July - At sea until Syracuse, Sicily
9:00 I have just gotten off the phone with the cruise director and he just told me the horrifying news that last night there was a fire at Syracuse airport, and the airport will now be closed for 3 days. This means that I will not be receiving my luggage tonight, or tomorrow. The one airport that I can get my luggage sent, and it’s on fire.
9:30 Cruise director calls again. I tell him that I am happy to do a juggling workshop with peoples rolled up socks, and that I am happy to put a show together using things that I find. He says that he doesn’t want to make me do a half assed show as it could make the company look bad. So he has taken me off the itinerary for now. So I should just kick back and chill.
18th July - Syracuse, Sicily
9:30 I chat to the cruise director, and he says that as I am not needed, I can disembark tomorrow in Capri, and take a boat/ferry/canoe/swim (can’t remember what he said) to Naples where I will spend the night, and fly home the next day as planned.
16:00 I find out from KLM (the legends that lost my bags) that as the last flight of the day was with Aegean Airlines, that the responsibility of the lost luggage is with them. Passing the buck. I tried to call Aegean Airlines and none of their numbers work and I can’t get hold of anyone. The people that work in the place that are in charge of giving me my bags, seem to not work there anymore.
17:00 I receive my flights for the 21st July. The 21st July? Yes, the 21st July. The flights that are booked are a day later than I need to travel. In the same conversation I find out that the ship, and the port agent are now putting the responsibility to find my luggage, onto me.
18:30 As they need to change the flights anyways, otherwise they’d have to give me two nights in a hotel, which to be honest, right now, I wouldn’t enjoy (I just want to go home!), I suggested to them that they could fly me from Naples to Athens, I could pick up my bags, and then fly Athens to the UK (anywhere in the UK, I don’t care at this point!).
19:00 The company refuses to change my flight or buy me a new one. I don’t think they’ve understood the situation. I explain it to them again. The penny drops, but just a bit.
20:30 Just received my flights for the 20th July; Naples to Athens (via Rome), and then a 7 hour layover in Athens so I can sort my bags out, before a little flight to Heathrow where I will hopefully be met by my lovely wife. Isn’t she lovely.
21:00 Last night onboard this ship and I’m gonna live it up. A glass of wine and some room service please. Click Click!
19th July 2023
9:00 Packed up my things and had a lovely espresso on the balcony with some fruit. We will be pulling into Capri at about 14:00 where I will then make my way to Naples for the night.
11:30 Just received an email saying that I will not be able to disembark today, because immigration isn’t open. This means I have ANOTHER day on the ship, and they will have to change the flights and the hotel again. I’m not even sure if I will be able to disembark at all in Capri. Who knows?!
16:00 Received new flights (which they’ve now agreed to pay for). I will be disembarking the ship tomorrow at 16:00. Taking a ferry to Naples, then going straight to Naples Airport to flight to Rome, then Rome to Athens, arriving in Athens at 00:50. My aim is to collect my bags then before I go to the hotel for the night. My flight from Athens to London isn’t until 19:00 the next day, but if I get get my bags as soon as I arrive, I’m going to book an early morning flight to Bristol. Let’s see what happens.
20th July 2023
11:45 Start packing my things, and get ready for immigration at 12:10. After immigration, I can come back to the ship to pack my final bits, not that I have much! So I’m planning on staying out for a nice plate of pasta before heading back. My pick up isn’t until 16:00
12:10 Take a boat (boat number 1) to the land, where I will meet the immigration officer to get my passport stamped.
12:30 Arrive on land. Immigration officer isn’t there. Luckily I took the same boat as the Italian speaking cruise director who was about to go for a run. He speaks to the local fuzz. He says I have to go to the immigration office which is just under 3 miles away, or I can take the funicular. So I have to queue to get a ticket, go up the funicular (like a train type thing but up a hill), walk 10 minutes, then go to immigration station. Brilliant.
13:10 Arrive at the immigration office, and randomly see the cruise director there (he ran up!). We go inside, he does his Italian thing (speaking it), and there are lots of muscly police men in there with guns. We are told to wait. We rightly do what we are told. They had guns!
13:30 I go into the office to get my passport stamped and for them to see my paper work, but at the same time my phone is buzzing and buzzing over and over again. I can’t answer cos I’m in with the tough guys.
13:45 Passport stamped. I return the calls, and it is the port immigration agent who is looking for me to take me to exactly where I am now. Too late mate. Already done it mate.
13:50 Head back down the funicular and make my way back to the ship by boat (boat number 2)
14:15 Pack up all of my stuff. This takes about 45 seconds because, as you know, I have no stuff. Then head back onto land for some lunch by boat (boat number 3)
14:45 Get some well deserved pasta and have a read. Peace! La dolce vita!
16:00 I get on the ferry from Capri to Naples (boat number 4)
17:00 Get in a car to the airport with a man that I believe was the inspiration for the game Mario Kart. Put it this way, I farted more than I blinked for the entire journey.
19:45 About to fly Naples to Rome where I have a 62 minute transfer between flights.
20:15 Flight leaves late. Looks like I’ll be running on the other side.
21:15 I run like a mad man through the airport. Batting Italian kids out of the way like fleas off a dog.
21:45 Just make it to my gate moments before they close it. I made it!
21st July 2023
01:00 Land in Athens. Let’s get my bags!
03:00 After two hours of queueing, I’ve been told I can’t get my bags until 08:00. That’s just super cool. I love that.
03:30 Check into the hotel. At the moment my flight tomorrow was booked of 19:00 to London Heathrow. I’ve just seen there is a 11:00 flight direct to Bristol. I’ve optimistically booked it thinking I will grab my bags in the morning.
07:00 Wake up feel anything but rested
07:15 Head to the airport.
07:45 Try and head “backstage” at the airport, but obviously refused. After some begging pleading and fluttering of eye lashes at the info desk, they let me go through to collect my luggage.
08:00 I meet someone in a high vis jacket who says they will collect my luggage, and they say “wait there”.
08:20 I see the high vis’d person take off their authoritative jacket, and walk out of the airport eating a sandwich
08:55 I asked one of the bag handlers if he has seen this luggage (I show him a photo). I follow him. And he takes me right to my little luggagy kids! He says to me “it’s always the baggage handlers that save the day”. He really did. The most under-rated super hero.
The rest of the story isn’t very interesting (the rest?!), as I just checked in my luggage and boarded the flight home. At the time of writing this I am now on the plane the Bristol and I am cream crackered beaten and battered knackered. I started travelling professionally 16 years ago at the age of 18, and I have never had a trip with so many issues in all my life! Now, home.
Well that’s my chartered cruise story. I finished writing that a few days ago, and only just got around to posting it today, as you can see. At the time of writing I am now in Cromer, Norfolk, where I will remain for the next 6 weeks as I’m the guest act in the Cromer Pier show.
Over the next 6 weeks I have 51 shows. I can’t wait! The first one is tonight. I’ll do my best at trying to keep you posted.
Bye for now!
Eating a banana
At the time of writing I am sat in a damp but warm pair of shorts that are clinging to my body less and less each minute as they dry in the sun. I am currently on P&O Azura in Valletta, Malta, and I disembark today at 4:45pm. All of my luggage is packed, I’ve just done the foolish thing of going swimming in my shorts that I meant to be wearing for the flight. Hopefully with the Maltese sun* battering down on me, they should be crisp and smelling of chlorine in no time.
The audiences, as usual, have been fantastic, and I am now heading home for…28 hours!!! Yep, you read that right. I’m trying to get in some extra relaxation in now before I leave, because I’ve got quite the couple of days ahead of me. Today I leave the ship at 16:45 to catch a 19:15 flight that lands in Gatwick at 21:25. Then, I take a lovely coach that get’s me into Bristol at 2:30am! I then have all of the 14th of July at home (lucky me), and then at 9:15 on the 15th, I’m off again! This time in a private chartered cruise. As it’s private, I’m not sure how much I can fairly say about it, so I’ll keep my typing gob shut for now, at least until I’ve done it!
A very quick run down of other stuff that’s been ace. Jon Udry’s Variety Bungalow number 3 was a hit and a half. The next one will be on the 10th September and it will sell out, so grab your tickets now from here
Glastonbury was phenomenal. I’m still slightly recovering from it with all the late nights, shows, and walking! But man, what a great festival
When I was at the airport on my way to join Azura, I was eating a banana. It’s important to acknowledge that I am on my way TO the ship. So there was no one around that had likely just seen my show, so I was anonymous. Brilliant. I was feeling peckish, so I did what anyone would do in that situation, and have a banana. I was only two bites down the shaft, and a woman, a stranger, a strange woman, came up to me, leant in unnervingly close and whispered, “You’re really enjoying that banana, aren’t you?!”. Now, she wasn’t wrong. I really was enjoying it. More so than I normally do. Perhaps it was a particularly good batch, a good year for it, who knows? But it was a good one. Ever since then I have been paranoid about how I eat bananas. I had no idea what I was doing to give off that impression. Perhaps I had been unknowingly moaning, salivating or even aroused, but either way, I now have to eat bananas in private.
Right, that’s all from me.
I’ll keep you in the loop.
Bye!
J x
*I’m 90% sure it’s the same sun viewed from any where on earth, but I’m not really qualified to say, and I can’t exactly prove it.
Things I have been into this week
Netflix comedy - Tom Segura: Sledgehammer and Burt Kreischer: Razzle Dazzle. I howled out loud watching these two specials. Both such great story tellers. Highly recommend.
Apple TV - Dual Survival. A programme where two survivalist experts head into the wilderness and survive. I love this sort of stuff, and this one is extra good because one of the two people doesn’t wear shoes and hasn’t for over 20 years. Nuts.
Too much news!!!
I’ve done it again. My plan to do a blog once a week was put on ahold for a while as my life got a little hectic. I say “a while”, I thought it was about a month. Nope. Last blog post from me was the 27th March. Crikey on a bikey! Where the hell did that go?! Well, I’m here now, so I guess that counts for something. The issue I have no is that some much has happened, that I don’t know where to start. I won’t possibly cover it all, and I won’t go into too much depth, but don’t misconstrue the lack of depth for the lack of importance!
Firstly, I got married. Planning a wedding is not fun and takes up a lot of time, but boy oh boy is it worth it. I know it’s slathered in cliché, but it really was the best day of my life. I married the best person I have ever met and couldn’t be happier.
Right that’s that bit done.
Work wise, I have been doing a lot of gigs with the marvellous Ben Nickless. He organised, and starred in, The Big Night Out, which was a tour of shows around the UK. Cracking line up and a lot of fun.
Last week, I performed my first ever solo show at a fringe festival, Brighton Fringe. Considering it was my first Fringe, I couldn’t have been happier with how it went. It went so well in fact that I won an award! I wont the Caravan Serai Camp Bestival Award. In a nutshell, it was voted the favourite show of that venue for the fringe and they want me to perform at Bestival, a festival that I am unavailable to attend. But hey ho, it’s the thought I guess. Happy just to get an award to be honest.
The next Jon Udry’s Variety Bungalow is fast approaching and we have a cracking line up as per usual. Make sure to grab your tickets now!
Right that’s all for now. My future updates will hopefully be a little more interesting. I’ll see what I can do!
Take care.
Updates from the Atlantic
At the time of writing, it is 8:24am and I’m currently bobbing about somewhere in the Atlantic Ocean. I started my trip in Port Canaveral, Florida, and I am now on way my back to Europe. Today is the start of 6 sea days, then we have a day in the Azores, and then 3 more days on the wet stuff to ol’ blighty. A lot of days at sea, so I’m going to do everything I can to not go completely insane. I’m more or less two thirds of the way through a cup of coffee, and I’ve already done an hour of juggling this morning. No complaints here!
I thought I’d use this time, of which I have ample, to bash out another one of these blog posts to keep you in the loop with what’s going down.
The second episode of Juggle More At 34 is out. I’m very proud of this one. Check it out…
Only 16 more tricks to complete, and 10 months left to do it! I think I need to up my game.
In other news, on the 31st May and 1st June I will be performing an hour long solo show at Brighton Fringe Festival. I need to sell some tickets, so grab them here.
As well as the fringe, tickets are now on sale for the first 18+ Jon Udry’s Variety Bungalow. It really is a cracking line up with some of my all time favourite acts. Grab your tickets here!
Right, that’s enough waffling from me. I’ll do another one of these sooner rather than later I reckon. We’ll see. Have a lovely day and treat yourself to a nice snack or something. Go on! You deserve it you bloody champion.
Belfast Juggling Convention
Last weekend I was booked to perform at the Belfast Juggling Convention (BelJuCon). I have to be honest, I am not a huge fan of juggling conventions. I have been going to them ever since I was 10 years old, and now I find the atmosphere (and the stench) a little over powering and intense. Jugglers are an unusual bunch (myself included), and making myself spend a weekend with them would never be near to the top of my list. However, BelJuCon was an absolute pile of craic. It was a small convention, hosting maybe 150 people maximum, but every single person I met was very friendly and normal (ish). They made me feel very welcome and took my gently under their Northern Irish wings.
The audience was perfect. Living in Bristol, I sometimes find that the audiences are almost so good to the point where it makes you feel a bit deluded about your ability as a performer. Then after a few Bristol gigs, when gigging outside of Bristol, you find you’re not quite as good as you thought you were. Belfast is the Bristol of Northern Ireland. They were so good, that I felt like I couldn’t fail. I had an absolute hoot!
In other news, my first (excluding my intro episode) episode of Juggle More at 34 is out. See how I got on after my first month of trying to break 18 of my personal records.
It is only 13 days until Jon Udry’s Variety Bungalow. Do make sure you get your tickets now, because we will sell out.
That’s all for now. Cheerio!
Claverham + Ben Nickless Tour
At the time of writing I am on a train heading from Bristol to London sat opposite my distractingly beautiful fiancée.
We’re heading to London today to do various wedding chores, but also I have a gig tomorrow night at the fantastic Crazy Coqs with Marcel Lucont for Cabaret Fantastique. I can’t wait!
Last weekend was an interesting pair of gigs. The first being in Claverham (I’d never heard of it either), in Claverham Village Hall. It went pretty well, but at points I really thought the audience hated me! But then surprisingly, a lot of people came up to me afterwards and said that it was great. Who knows?! I guess that’s just Claverham folk. The second gig was in Rotherham with my good pal, Ben Nickless. Gigs with Ben are always fun. I was his support act for this particular gig held in Rotherham Civic Theatre. It was such a beautiful venue, and the crowd were perfect. They had the right mix of focus and northern feistiness. A joy to perform for them.
For a little while the ABC Tour documentary was unavailable to download ever since I update my website. I’m pleased to say that this is all sorted now, and you can download the documentary from here.
Ok, I’m done. I’m outta here. Cheerio!
Upcoming gigs
After quite a bit of Caribbean cruising and travels of the last few weeks, I am very happy to be home for a little bit, and to have the opportunity to do “normal person things”. I’ve been thoroughly enjoying cooking at the moment. When I am out on the road, I hardly get the chance to cook, so it’s a real luxury when I get home. I really enjoyed making this tasty plant based stew from Ainsley Harriott. It was delicious!
For the rest of February, I will be performing around the UK in a variety of different shows. This Friday I will be in Claverham Hall at the Cabaret Mash up.
The next day I’ll be zipping up to Rotherham to be the opening act for my good friend Ben Nickless.
The following weekend I'll be in Marcel LuCont’s wonderful show: Cabaret Fantastique at Crazy Coqs in London.
Then I'll zoom to Lichfield on the morning of the 11th Feb, to perform with the legendary Stage Door Johnny at Très Très Cabaret.
A great few weeks ahead of me. And when I am not doing shows, I’ll be living the highlife of cooking, juggling and being a general homebody. I have no complaints!
I had a great January. My delightful fiancée took me on a surprise birthday trip to Edinburgh, which was truly remarkable. Below is one second every day of my January.
As it was my birthday last month, I thought I’d give myself a challenge for the year. I’m going to try and beat all of my personal best records in juggling before my next birthday. I’ll be documenting the whole thing. Details in this video below:
Right that’s all from me. Chat soon. Bye!
Caribbean Cruise 2 of 2
I have now finished my second Caribbean cruise in the last two weeks. Travelling wise things have been nuts to be honest. I arrived into the UK on the 14th Jan after disembarking P&O Britannia on the 13th Jan. I then spent a very jet-lagged and hazy 40 hours in the UK, before then jetting myself off again back to the Caribbean at 6am on the 16th January, to embark the magnificent P&O Arvia for it’s maiden Caribbean voyage. After 3 nights on the ship, I’m now returning for the final time this Caribbean season to the UK. It’s fair to say that Greta Thunberg would be livid with me right now, and to be honest, she’d have every right to be. It’s fair to say that my carbon foot print over the past fortnight has been astronomical, so I’ll have to be living with the lights off, no heating and only flushing for number twos for the next few weeks to offset it.
At the time of writing I am sat onboard the Arvia waiting for my pick-up to the airport in an hours time.
If I’m being completely honest, and I hope dear reader that you know I would be nothing but honest to you, I am exhausted! I am not 100% sure which time zone my body is meant to be functioning on right now. For this leg of the trip, I was scheduled to perform my show three times in one night, have a day off, and then my second show three times the following night. My shows are 50 minutes long and very exhausting. To be honest, I was dreading having to do it 3 times in one night, but you know what, I had an absolute blast. It felt a bit like a physical endurance challenge, but I enjoyed the process of trying to pace myself and yet still keep the energy to a high level. I loved that I could repeat my material 3 times in one night. I really felt the benefits of running in a few bits of new material and tweaking it where it was needed. I even enjoyed preparing my snacks for between shows:
The theatre itself is extraordinary. Arvia is a very new ship, so the technology onboard is all top of the range. With a capacity of almost 900, and there being almost 5000 people onboard, it meant that each show was pretty much full.
As well as having a genuine hoot performing my shows for such delightful audiences, I also had the pleasure of getting to know and hang out with some sensational acts, including Monroe and X-Factors Matt Terry.
This contract was worth every bit of the crazy travel-induced fogginess, and I really hope to return to the Arvia some day soon. But for now, Home time!
In other news, it’s only a few weeks until the next Jon Udry’s Variety Bungalow. We have an exceptional line up this time, it’s really not one to be missed. Tickets available here. Make sure you book soon because we will sell out.
That’s all from me. I now have a long travel day home from Barbados to the England. Take care.
J x
Things I’ve been into this week
My highlight this week has been Steve Martin, Stand Up Comedy 1984. I really cannot get enough of Steve Martin, his comedy style is so unique, and even though this video is almost 40 years old, I think it still holds up as being comedy genius. I love his spontaneous child like demeanours and innocence. His part about “Happy Feet” cracks me up every time.
Caribbean Cruise 1 of 2.
Currently I am in the Caribbean in St Kitts sipping on a mediocre coffee after engulfing a far from mediocre hot coconut roll. Man it was good. I didn’t even know that it was a thing. But I’m very glad that it is.
Even though I am miles away from January’s English miserable weather, I am out here in the sun and joy feeling a little sorry for myself because I Britishly forgot to put suncream on yesterday at the beach in Antigua and I look like I’m blushing all over. It was all going so well…
Other than looking like healthy flamingo, I’m doing pretty good out here. I had my shows on the night after I arrived, and I have to say, considering it was the first shows of the year, they went really well. I am currently on P&O Britannia, and P&O audiences never fail to be good. They are the right type of lively in my opinion. As it stands, I don’t know how long I am going to be on this ship for. At the moment, I am meant to be leaving on the 13th, and arriving into the UK on the 14th. Then I’ll be leaving the UK on the 16th to then fly back out here to the Caribbean to join another ship for 4 days. As this travel plan seems a bit nuts, I suggested that I may as well stay out here and skip the toing and froing back to the UK. That way, I wont’t be jet lagged, and don’t have to do to two long travel days, and I have no risk of loosing my luggage. I should be finding out today what the plan is.
This blog post was a little later than I expected in the year. Is the 10th Jan too late to say Happy New Year? I won’t say it anyways, just incase it’s bad luck. But if you have a spare 6 minutes and 18 seconds and want to check out one second every day of my 2022, then here is the video. Enjoy!
That’s all from me at the mo. Bye for now!
Up to my roasted chestnuts in Christmas
I am writing this in a small gap I have between show 1 and show 2 today. It’s fair to say that Christmas is well and truly here. But in all fairness, it’s been here as soon as the clock hand struck midnight on Hallowe’en. I love Christmas, I really do. But I am also a performer. This puts me in an odd position being that I love all of the festivities, but I don’t have time to enjoy them because I’m too busy providing entertainment for the people that have “regular” jobs. Perhaps I should take a more positive angle and take joy from the fact I am enhancing the Christmas experience for others.
I have to clarify that I am not complaining here. I am privileged to be in a position in my career where I am performing every day (sometimes more) during this time, but in all honesty, I’m very tired! Between now and the 22nd Dec I have 11 shows left and then I’ll be on a Christmas break for the rest of the year. I don’t like to swear in these blogs, but I feel like this is an exceptional circumstance….. I can’t flipping wait!!!! It’s been a very full on year with shows, and travelling, and the book launch, and Variety Bungalow, that I am fizzing with excitement to have a little time to just chill. However, if other years are anything to go by, as soon as I have finished my last show of the year on the 22nd December, I will get ill. The very moment, I catch the last juggling club of 2022, the snot will gush towards my nostrils and bung me up for Christmas. And you know what, I still can’t wait!
In the mean time, I am going to be back on stage in 3 hours, so it’s time for a cuppa tea, some dinner, then off to perform for the second time today. Sounds like bliss to me.
I shouldn’t limit myself in just trying to spread festive joy on stage. I should also have a bash at doing it here! So here's a little festive video I recorded at the end of 2020. This is the result of what was a weird ol' year! Enjoy!